If you didn’t take me for granted, if you didn’t try to take my freedom away. Maybe if you stopped playing the victim and posting our business on Facebook for 600+ of people to see, and the girls who added you that I went to school with have something to be nosey with because they did not know enough about us, but no. You’re the type of person who wants people to have sympathy for you and judge me with only knowing your side of the story. Not to mention when you post something bad about our relationship it’s always FEMALES that comment shit like “oh, you’ll find someone better.” That irritates me because all I know is that you probably do not talk to half of them until we have broken up, then all of a sudden you want sympathy from a bunch of women. Don’t play with me, I’m smart enough to know better. Maybe that is why your family always thinks its my fault when you’re upset or crying. You’re the only person who have posted something having to do with our separation..I haven’t posted ONE THING on Facebook about us breaking up or how “sad” I am that you “hurt” me. Not a lot of people could tell. Why? Because I’m not that type of person. Why would I post it on here? Because only one person I know in real life knows about this blog, and I trust her because she knows about those nosey ass girls and most likely knows how I feel with Facebook drama. I’m not forgiving you until you have realized that I did not do anything wrong, but you taking me for granted and I doubt that will happen. I’m done and fed up.
I hate when people think they’re too extra to talk to me, it’s like no, I’m bubbly Amy, but i’ll snap back into sassy Amy real quick! You killing my vibe or nah?
I felt it for a while now, but I kept holding on because I didn’t want to feel bad. I felt like we were drifting apart. I don’t need to have to worry about whether or not you’ll be upset when I am talking to other people. I have college, work and my future to worry about. All I need is support right now, not someone who is going to hold me down. Many might not like the decision I made, but it’s not your life it’s mine. What is sad is that only one of my friends see right through me and what I felt during these last couple of weeks of my relationship. However, I am proud to say I am finally free and I need to restrict myself from letting you back into my life.
My dream vacation..seriously, one of my managers went there, and I’ve seen videos of that beautiful place. The hotels are so expensive, but it’s so beautiful there! It’s the rainforest part of Hawaii, and I just can not get over the fact of how beautifully breath taking it is..my boyfriend told me we can go there for our honeymoon. Well, I can’t wait till that day comes because I am dying to go!! :)
I haven’t been able to post a lot because I’m over here being Miss Busy Bee! Work, field experience, school, homework..too much! Next week is gonna be full as well! Im surprised I haven’t broken down and cried because all this is a lot of balance out!! But i can do it. I’m hanging on and getting through with it! And if i fail I’ll keep trying! Just like my communications teacher told me “You know Michael Jordan? His high school’s basketball coach didn’t want him on the team, but look at him now! He’s on the NBA, don’t be afraid to fail first, anyone who is successful right now have failed once or twice in their life, but guess what? They kept trying!”
In communications, I was given some tips by my instructor to better my self esteem. Here’s one tip I’ve been trying to master ever since she told me. Being thankful. Since I don’t post alot of this blog since it’s personal, I will be posting my thankful lists here everyday. Here’s my first one.
1. I am thankful for having supportive people around me when it comes to college and work.
2. I am thankful for getting chose by my manager for one of the “Top Selling Associates” at work and being able to train other sales associates.
3. I am thankful for my Marine boyfriend.
4. I am thankful for good grades.
5. I am thankful to be living under a roof and not on the streets.
Now that break is over, I really want to get back into running and healthy eating. I miss being able to run a few miles without getting that cramp in my stomach or grasping to breath. All I need is some motivation. I work, I go to school..my excuse is always “I don’t have time, but now that summer is just months away, I want my bikini body back. I feel gross. All I’ve done during break is eat out, and I haven’t exercised in months! Any advice on getting me back on my feet?